Saturday, January 9, 2010

I realize how tiny I am Calfornia.

It's funny how looking at a map makes me feel so small.
so tiny
so itty bitty.

Today was a day of baking. building. packing. selling/some buying...

I enjoy baking, esp. when I'm trying to ignore the elephant in the room. I looked at all the grad schools i'm applying to and their locations in places such as Washington and California.
California looks so big, so huge. so.. MASSIVE. It's scares me slightly, I know my cousin James,( and sam.. but I haven't talked to him in years) that's all. Where Washington is safe. sound... I know my way around the whole city and I have amazing friends there.
Do I push it and try a new place with new people? A chance to start new?
It's kinda of exciting for me to think about. I'll be driving their and meeting with doug-o. Looking at the school of his dreams (for me anyways)

It gives me goose bumps, because I'll admit. I love an adventure! I love meeting new people.. but I also want to settle in, settle down.
I can apply and see where that takes me. One step at a time.
I'm so impatient. I want to know now now now now now!
Breathe, stop. hold in wait.. breathe now. When I look at that state I become overwhelmed with it's size. It's SOO big. It slightly reminds me of how I feel with God. I feel so tiny, like a little girl climbing into dad's lap. It's Big, vast and it holds a mysterious appeal...

I had an extremeLYYYYY long day, and I just want to curl up in front of the fire and fall asleep, while watching 30 rock.

Monday the real chaos starts.

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